Great Mom or Not?

**This Could Potentially Be Offensive!**

(just warning you ahead of time, if you don't like my opinions, stop reading right now! I will not be held liable for anything further that you read!!! )

I've been thinking a lot lately (specifically, the last 13.5 weeks) about characteristics that a "great" mom has. What sets apart a "great" mom from an average mom or a bad mom. What makes a child say "I have the best mom in the world!" and what makes others say, "Yea, I love my mom." and leave it at that.  Even some adults say "I have the best mom in the world." Well what makes them so great? Seriously? What does a mom do that is so great it makes her grown up child remember she was so great as a child?

Does this type of mom even know that she's great? I'm sure every mom would like to think that they give their all to the child and take care of them as best she can....but that's normal, that's part of the definition of a mom (to me). But what does she do that pushes her over the top and makes her look like a hero to her kids?

Well, here is what I think a great mom is...and these are only my opinions. (The list is small... I could add things all day long.) Things that I will try my hardest at to make my child say "My mom is the BEST mom in the world!" and honestly mean it with their whole heart.

*I think a great mom is selfless. She puts her husband's and children's needs before hers. Whether it mean not buying that new dress for herself because her child would just die for that new baby doll or toy truck, and she would rather see her child's face light up with excitement any day of the week than to look good in that dress. Or it could be that she sends her child the last thing of Jello in their lunch because she knows they would just love it, although she's been craving it ALL day. It could be that the child is scared at night and just wants her to lay in bed with them, even though she had a terrible day and has an extremely early meeting in the morning, but would rather her child feel safe and secure than for her to feel prepared and rested for the next morning. It could be any of these things.

*I think a great mom is patient. She will spend countless hours with the child trying to teach them their ABCs and 123s, or their Algebra homework in 1st grade, or months helping them walk and say MaMa. I am not patient at all at the moment. It's something that I will have to work on. It burns me up when I hear (and yes, I have heard) "Mikey will have to do that, you just aren't patient enough." or "You're just like your mom, you have no patience." Well. That's true. But I also have not birthed a child yet. Neither of us know what is going to happen once that baby gets here. Everyone says that a baby changes everything...well, who says a baby can't change character flaws? I never want my child to look back and say "Mom, why did you never do this with me?" and me have to respond with "Because my nerves couldn't take it."  It may happen, I'm sure Chuck-E-Cheese will push me to the edge more than once, but I will try.

*I think a great mom never has a "sick" day. And by sick I do not mean physically ill, I mean just a free day to do as she pleases.  A day where she can just pawn her kids off on someone else just because she doesn't want to deal with them. Um. Hello. You had the child....or decided to make the situation happen.... Honey, you don't get to do that. I know kids can work your nerves, and I'm sure my time is coming really soon, considering my who the daddy is. I understand that sometimes you just need some "me" or "us" time. I really do get that. I just think that sending your children off to some one's house more than once a week, every week may be crossing the line. It IS crossing the line in my book. I just want to say "Get over yourself!" Nothing you could do for yourself is worth losing all of those hours with your children. You'll never get that time back.

*I think a great mom puts their children's happiness above a lot of other household chores. (but clean up our messes afterwards)  I've seen signs that say "Excuse the mess, we live here."  Do NOT get me wrong, I love my house to be clean. In fact, I'm a bit obsessive about the laundry.  When the baby gets here, I will try to keep it close to as clean as it is now and we will have chores and practice cleaning from an early age... but (and I'll have to work really hard at this one too) I don't want to deprive my children of play or learning just because it'll make a mess. We can always clean after we play. I remember having to have everything so clean at my house growing up, and I hated it.  Some of the most fun memories I have with my niece and nephew were made making HUGE messes!! Covering old bottles with melted crayons, carving pumpkins with Ben's little arms elbow deep in the pumpkin,  making and decorating cakes and cupcakes, just fun, messy stuff. We all love it!
*I think a great mom raises their children in church with a Godly love at home. I know that a 3 month old doesn't realize they're in church, but it builds a good, firm foundation for the child that will last them their entire lives. Some of the very first songs  I learned to sing were "Jesus Loves Me" and "Jesus Loves the Little Children"... God places such great teachers in children's lives to teach them things on levels they understand and ways their little minds remember.

*I think a great mom sets a good example for her children to follow. She does things that would make her children proud. I know children make their parents proud, I was told that all the time growing up, but I also think that the children can be proud of their parents.... they just may not realize it until they're older.

*I think a great mom uses positive re-enforcement. It makes such a big difference in the child's attitude. I was always told that I was pretty when I wasn't, that I was smart when I didn't do as well as I wanted, that I made my parents proud when I didn't think they could tell I worked so hard, that I was so creative when I would play.... Positive encouragement equals positive feedback. I look at kids at work and can pick up right away on how they're talked to at home.

*I think a great mom disciplines their child and shows they love them at the same time. I was raised getting my butt whipped all the time! I turned out just fine, I think. I didn't realize it when I was younger, but the discipline and manners that I learned at home has made me very thankful that I was taught and raised that way. I see a bunch of hoodlums running around back-talking their elders, kids snatching stuff without saying Please or Thank You, screaming when they don't get what they want, when they truly don't need it anyway.... If that were me 20 years ago, I would've had a red but and "I'm sorry" coming out of my mouth. I think the correct discipline (and I know that every family has different discipline styles....this is just the way I was raised) builds character.  Not just a pat on the butt, but an explanation as to why they don't do that.

*I think the greatest gift for a great mom isn't peace and quiet, but the sound of laughter and the sight of a smile on their kids faces. Peace and Quiet are a very close second though!!

*I think a great mom just shows her child a love and level of security that no one else can. She just strives to make her kids respectful, loving, happy, and safe. And would do that at any cost.

Now, these are just MY ideas and thoughts..... I warned you before you read!

I'm sure some of these will take a lot of work to get good at, but I will try. I'm sure I'll mess up and my kid will hate me at some point, but I always want my kid to know that their loved and that I'm always there for them...whether that makes me a "great" mom or just an average mom.

And no offense to the dads either. I just chose Mom because, well, I'll be one in about 6 months. It's easy for me to say what I'm going to do or not going to do. I know what I liked and didn't like growing up and these are things I can control. I think being a great dad takes just as much hard work and dedication.

If something here is wrong, well, I don't really care. I'm sure my views and outlooks of life and children will change a million times....even before the baby gets here. It's just what I feel and think now, so just humor me.